Family Of Origin

Our family of origin gives us our first life lessons, by default or by design, that we spend the rest of our lives either building upon or trying to overcome. No one chooses their family of origin. However, everyone can choose the life lessons they can learn from their family of origin. It is not so much about what happened in your families that determine your outcomes, but how to choose to learn from whatever happened.

Whether your parents did less right and more wrong is not the real issues. You can take a default on your parents part and design it for good on your part. You carry the name of your family of origin but you don’t have to wear the stain…if there is one (or more). You can over come whatever the pain and make it work for your gain. When you do this, you not only cease to be a victim, but you use what was a stumbling block and you make it your stepping stone.

Begin to design the life and future you want today, by not focusing on the fault or the defaults of those in your family, but by learning to use anything bad for your every good. Giving meaning to the events of your past will empower you to grow from them and change your future.

Create Your Own Family Culture

The reason a strong family culture by design is important is because it teaches your children to be proactive in a reactive world. Family happens by default or by design. What kind of family do you want?

We did two things that I felt were very important to create a strong family culture. First, we established family core values. We decided as a family our “what matters most”. Our core values are honor, positive attitude, excellence, leadership, and generosity.

Secondly, we established a family mission statement. The Craft family mission statement is “Never allow the good to be robber of the best.” We taught the kids that this means be your best for God, be the best you can be, and be your best for others.

Understanding what kind of family you want will enable you to work back and determine your mission and core values. It all starts with clarity for how you want your family to be. Once you’ve decided what matters most (aka your core values), then it’s up to you to live a “regardless life” and always make your decisions according to what matters most. When your kids see this consistency, your family culture will grow and continue to strengthen.

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Leadership consists of many areas, but the most important thing you will ever do is lead yourself. The best thing you can give those you lead is a healthy you. Leading yourself is the highest personal priority you will ever have. Life is filled with things that need to be done. From the time you get up until the time you go to bed, there are responsibilities that need to be taken care of. Nothing you will ever do will be more important than leading yourself.

The 3 great areas of your life that determine all things concerning you are:

  • Spirit – you are a temple. Who’s in charge? The development of your spirit will determine your eternal well being
  • Soul – your emotional quotient governs the success or failure of all of your relationships. The development of your soul will determine your emotional well being.
  • Body – water, proper nutrition, exercise and rest = health. The development of your body will determine your physical well being.

How To Grow Healthy

My definition for leadership is, “the capacity of an individual to personally grow and develop that empowers others to do the same.” The most important part of you is the part that will live forever…your spirit! We are a spiritual beings having a human experience, so everything starts with your spirit.

Ultimately, what manifests through our emotions and bodies is the result of what is in our spirit. You develop your spirit by drawing close to God. You draw close to God by reading the Bible, choosing a spiritual leader, giving generously, and serving others.

Where Leadership Starts

Leaders don’t just see how things are, they serve to make things better. Before they are even chosen by others, leaders have chosen to serve. Leaders don’t find a need and fill it, they see the need and serve it. They lead themselves to lead the need by doing what needs to be done. Those who follow any leader see the leader serving and become inspired to do the same.

How and who you are following will determine how and who you will lead.

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